hope | Real Life on Rocky Top

The Eighth Day of Christmas

Dec 22 2019

The Gift of Hope

This is an updated blog that I posted in 2017. Be sure to read the new ending. God surely is our HOPE!

The decorating of the Christmas tree up on Rocky Top has always been a festive time….Christmas carols playing in the background, the smell of a freshly cut tree in the air, a crackling fire glowing in the fire place, crab bites (a family favorite) and sparkling Welch’s.

Not so much this year. As I sat on the floor going through ornaments, I begin to quietly cry. Over half of our ornaments were given to us by people we had pastored in the past. Satan whispered in my ear, “No more ornaments for you. That part of your life is done. You don’t even have one from your own mother. And she’s dead now. ”

Preacher didn’t know what was going on in my heart as we began to decorate the tree. I had chosen not to make any crab bites and the Christmas music playing in the background almost seemed annoying.

After it was decorated, we stood back to admire the work and I think I just let out a sigh. Normally we sing a Christmas carol together as Preacher turns on the lights. Not this year.

A few days later as we were traveling for our new ministry, I received a text from a friend who had agreed to come take care of our home and water our Christmas tree while we were traveling. The text read, “Here is how I found your tree.” It was followed by a picture of the tree turned over, stand and all, water everywhere with pieces of broken ornaments scattered throughout the room.

My heart sunk. I did not cry. Sadness just enveloped me. Two dear friends cleaned it all up and even tied the tree to the back door to keep it standing up.

Upon returning home, Preacher and I once again decorated the tree. Determining to change my perspective and heart, crab bites were made along with cookies. Maybe food would soothe my wounded, grieving heart.

The tree stood proud for one week.

After a long day of ministry and Christmas shopping, I walked into the house to once again find the eight foot Christmas tree lying on the floor with more broken ornaments and a water soaked tree skirt.

This Rocky Top girl would like to tell you she worshipped, kept perspective by remembering so many people who are going through much worse things than a fallen tree but I did not.

I sat in the middle of the mess and began to just sob and yell at God.

When Preacher got home, he helped me clean it up. He offered to attempt to stand it up again.

“No! Get it out of my home. Tomorrow I will buy a fake tree.” I yelled.

Preacher carried it out and threw it over the cliff on the back of Rocky Top.

The next morning when I sat with Jesus so many emotions swirled in my heart and head…..from anger to shame to failure.

As I opened His word He spoke with gentleness:

“Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased. I will put my Spirit upon him and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles. He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets; a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will hope.” Matthew 12:18-21

Through His word, Jesus reminded me of why He came. He came to sit with me in all my mess.

Christmas is grace in our failure.

Christmas is forgiveness to those who wound and betray us.

Christmas is strength when we are weak.

Christmas is justice and not judgement.

Christmas is peace in chaos.

Christmas is joy in our deepest sadness.

Christmas is comfort in our grief.

Christmas is knowing He will lead when we are wandering.

Christmas is your mentor, your Timothy, and your children giving you ornaments of truth to hang around your neck instead of glass ones that will eventually break. (Proverbs 1:9)

Christmas is HOPE in what we believe to be hopelessness.

We want Christmas to be filled with laughter, fun, gifts and happiness.

Sometimes Christmas is just remembering that in all the hurt, in all the pain, in all the change, in all the disappointments in life, whether they are big or small, Jesus came to give us Himself: HOPE!

UPDATE

About one week after I posted this blog in 2017, I received a box in the mail from one of our Life Action missionaries. It was filled with handmade ornaments. Each one had a gift that Jesus brought us when He gave us Himself written on it: Grace, Forgiveness, Strength, Love, Justice, Peace, Joy, Comfort, Knowing, and HOPE.

The day I received that box of ornaments, Hope was delivered. This dear friend reminded me that we are to be the Hope-givers to those around us.

My prayer this Christmas is that I will bring HOPE to someone else. Is there anyone you need to bring Hope to this Christmas?

The FALL on Rocky Top: Death, Life, and a Prayer Tent

Oct 28 2016

It is Fall once again up on Rocky Top. The leaves are raining shades of yellow, orange and red as they fall from the trees. It’s a beautiful sight to behold as they float down on the wind. Ironically, the beauty comes from dying. The leaves are falling because they are dead.

Fall is a bittersweet time of year.

Today I listened to my beautiful, middle child spill her soul as she shared about her baby in heaven.

She told the story to a group of mommies. With gentle tears rolling down her face she remembered how she had put her hope in being a mommy only to find out that hope was no longer alive. I remember holding her after she got the news………..no heartbeat, no life. We all grieved. Someone had died and we had been robbed of ever knowing this tiny human.

Yet, there was my brave girl standing in front of those women sharing about how death had taught her to put her hope only in Jesus. My momma’s heart was proud of her courage. She told the story of death on the birthday of her now 3 year old daughter, Addison Faith. Death had occurred in the Fall. Life had also been born in the Fall.

Years ago driving down the road, I received a phone call about death on a fall day. Daddy had died in his bed, a massive heart attack. Daddy didn’t come to know the God of Hope until he was 58. His journey to Christ came at a price. He died to himself. Died to selfishness. Died to a never ending stream of bad marriages. From age 58 to 68, that man truly lived. He lived to bring his new Father glory. With his new heart, he loved big and well. When I arrived at his apartment after receiving that phone call, it was covered up with his new life: pictures of grandchildren, his Bible, and the book The Prayer of Jabez.

That was a very hard fall. Yet, there was HOPE. I knew my daddy had really died when he was 58 and he was now fully alive with His Savior.

True, real life requires death. Sometimes the death is more painful than others. Nonetheless, death is hard.

A lady tapped me on the shoulder. “Do you have a few minutes?” she asked. Me, I never have a few minutes. My schedule can be my never ending god if I let it. “Sure.” I said. Then death came.

“I really need to ask your forgiveness. God, told me to come talk to you. I have said bad things about you to others. I’m so very sorry. Will you forgive me?” Tears were welling up in her eyes. She was brave.

Time to die to myself. Time to make a choice of letting my pride and anger take over or die to myself and let Jesus live in me. I asked a few more questions to understand the situation.

I had hurt her unintentionally. I cried. I apologized. We prayed. Life came. I thanked her for being real and vulnerable. I wished I had thanked her for dying to herself.

Fall is also the time of year, that we, as a church focus on people around the world who do not know our Savior. Millions of men, women and children have never heard the name of Jesus. To be blunt, millions who will spend eternity in hell. We don’t like to talk about that. It is uncomfortable.

Our body of believers built a tent in the middle of our church building. The Prayer Tent. As I walked through the tent, His voice was clear: Die to yourself.

“Christ hasn’t called us to live for Him: He has called us to die, so that He might live through us.” Beth

“It’s not me trying but me dying.” Watchman Nee

Millions of people will never hear His precious name, know His intimate love, experience His mighty power, or spend eternity with Him unless WE die!

Die to our selfishness. Die to our comfort. Die to our greed. Die to our fear.

To live in His abundance. To live in His adventure. To live in His POWER. To live in His confident joy.

Lord, thank You for the Fall. It is a visible reminder that death brings true LIFE and HOPE! And if I choose to die to myself and live in You then one day I will stand with Jesus, my grandbaby, my daddy, a brave sister in Christ and millions of others whose faces I may never meet till I meet you, and there will be no more death, no more dying. Just You in all your beauty and HOPE!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading, kept in heaven for you.” I Peter 1:3-4

Tag - hope