Brokenness | Real Life on Rocky Top

One Year Later

Sep 09 2018

It was a year ago that Preacher and I stood on the stage of a mega church in front of thousands of people and said our good-byes as their Senior Pastor and his wife. It was a bittersweet day for me. Bitter because I truly loved being a senior pastor’s wife, and sweet because we were saying “Yes” to the Lord by choosing obedience to a new calling on our lives……..serving Him through Life Action Ministry.

This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions for me as God has both revealed things to me about myself and reminded me of truths through the lives of those serving Life Action.

Confession: Being the senior pastor’s wife caused me to become an addict – I have confessed these addictions before the Lord and He has graciously forgiven me. My addictions: Attention and Power. If my addictions have ever offended you, please forgive me. Years under the spotlight caused me to lose sight of the sixteen year old girl who humbly walked down an aisle, took a pastor’s hand and committed her life to serve the Lord. No human being should ever be placed on the throne that only has room for One – Christ.
Truth: Servanthood People working at Life Action are among God’s choice servants. Their lives are characterized by what Life Action calls our six responses to God: Humility, Honesty, Repentance, Forgiveness, Obedience, and Seeking God’s Kingdom First. Over and over I have witnessed these six responses demonstrated in their lives. Women who choose to raise a family in a RV nine months out of year as they serve churches across the USA. Communicators and musicians so gifted that they could serve the Lord from any stage, yet choose to serve churches of various sizes so that they may experience a reviving work of God’s presence.
Confession: When we walked away from the mega church, we also walked away from a very large salary. Although our church agreed to support us for a season, we were walking toward a “no salary” position. In other words, we had to raise our own support. We became full-time missionaries. The Lord used this as a reminder of the commitment I had made to him when I was sixteen – a commitment to serve Him as a missionary. He had been preparing me for this for forty years. I was in a completely new situation – sitting with someone and sharing with them about our new adventure and asking them to support us financially. This proved to be quite a challenge for me, but through it God taught me humility and reminded me that He was always my True Provision.
Truth: Faith People at Life Action are people of faith. This past year I have witnessed families who live on very limited budgets, yet do not hesitate to sacrificially to give to others in need. There are families who adopt children that the world would cast aside. Grumbling and complaining are rare while praying is a way of life.

Our mission at Life Action is “to inspire your next Yes to God.” When we say “yes” to something, it usually requires us saying “no” to something else. This past year I have said “Yes” by following Him in obedience and it did require me saying “no” to pride, control, selfishness and bitterness. God has begun a new work in my heart and I am so grateful to Him and to Life Action Ministry.

My prayer for you today is that you will choose to “Say YES to God.” Is He asking you to forgive someone? Is He asking you to be honest with yourself and admit you are addicted to something…power, attention, food, gossip, a negative attitude, or maybe social media?

This past weekend I hiked up to Grotto Falls in the Smoky Mountains. As I observed the rushing water flow over the rocks into the pool below, the Lord whispered into my heart “Refreshment comes when you confess your sin and turn to me.” Sin is choosing our way over God’s way. Are you choosing to do life your way and not God’s way?

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Acts 3:19

If Life Action or I can serve you or your church in any way, it would bring us great joy. Preacher’s motto during this last year has been: “I am just His servant.” I just love that man! So excited to serve alongside him at Life Action as a servant to the Most High God!

www.lifeaction.org

Holy Week??

Mar 27 2018

It’s Holy Week up on Rocky Top. I said to Preacher this morning, “I’m not so sure what is Holy about this week. Too much hurt, too much pain, too much brokenness and not enough truth and love going around.” Preacher reminded me that “holy” means to be set apart.

Hurt, pain, brokenness set Jesus apart from the crowd—-and He chose it. He chose to bear my sin so that I would never have to bear separation from God—a God who loves me and chose me despite my imperfections.

A few weeks ago I stood in front of a group of women to teach on HOPE. I gave them a nice three point outline from Romans 15 of what women of Hope are to be. I ended the message with a powerful story of Hope.

Then my world was rocked with a seemingly “hopeless” situation. The enemy whispered in my ear, “So where is your HOPE now, Bible study teacher?”

“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

What do I hope for? A marriage that glorifies Him, children who glorify Him, ministry that glorifies Him.

Is that the real answer? Let’s be honest…..the answer usually goes something like “a marriage that makes me happy, children who grow up and make me look good and are successful, and opportunities to do great things for God which make me look good.

Glorify God? God was glorified through His Son, Jesus when He was broken, beaten and bruised yet He uttered not a word. God’s one and only Son nailed and displayed on a bloody cross brought glory to God.

Last week I walked a beach that was covered with broken seashells. With every step I took, there was an eerie sound of more shells breaking underneath my feet. And with every crashing wave that hit that beach, more shells were deposited. People walked through the broken shells hoping to find just one whole and unbroken shell. Their desire was for one shell that was intact with no imperfections. There were very few of those to be found. Yet when they were found, there was no life inside—the shell was empty.

Truth is without all those broken shells there would not be much of a beach, the broken shells made that beach. Brokenness to some may seem invaluable. Brokenness to Christ is everything. He chose it so I might have life. It’s only in my brokenness that He can be glorified!

During Holy week Jesus cursed a fig tree. It appeared to be healthy but it bore no fruit. Christ also turned over the tables of the money changers in the temple. They appeared to be offering a much needed service but Christ knew the truth. Appearance often is deceiving.

Don’t be afraid of brokenness or broken people. Be more afraid of people who seem to have it all together and are just like those “perfect” shells on the beach…….empty and dead inside.

I, for one, need a Savior……..for myself, my marriage, my family, my church.

Be Holy this week. Be set apart from the world’s definition of perfection and wholeness. Celebrate His brokenness. Celebrate your brokenness. Allow your brokenness to glorify HIM!

“May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

The Harvest

Nov 10 2017

Every Fall I am inevitably asked about whether Preacher and I celebrate Halloween. My usual response is “We celebrate the Harvest.” Today as I was reading God’s word I was reminded of the most important harvest.

Matthew 9 says “When Jesus saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like a sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:36-38

The crowds are everywhere—the mall, at the ball game, at the park and even at church. They are people I don’t know— faces without names.

Jesus had compassion on the crowds then, and He has compassion on the crowds He sees today. The Greek word for “compassion” in this passage means “to be sick at your stomach“. Jesus was so moved by the helplessness of the crowds that He wanted to throw up.

Honestly, most days I have no compassion for the crowds. I avoid the crowds. My tendency is to just move through the crowd as quickly as possible to accomplish whatever task is before me.

Jesus described the crowds as harassed and helpless, like a sheep without a shepherd. I see the crowds as a nuisance. Jesus saw them as individuals needing guidance and care.

Jesus told His followers clearly there was no shortage of people needing to be loved, cared for and transformed. There was only a shortage of workers to go and share of His love, care, and hope.

Jesus challenged His followers to “ask” Him for more workers to go to the crowds.

I ask Jesus for a lot of things. This morning I asked Him to protect people I love, to heal hearts of those I love, to give Preacher wisdom, to save those I love. All of these were good things for me to ask for.

However, I did not ask Him to bring workers into His field. My lack of asking Jesus for more workers probably has more to do with the fact I really do not want to be a part of the answer.

Pain, hurt and fear can cause us to withdraw from others. Why open yourself to reaching out when experience says “You will just be wounded again.”

Yet, Jesus knew as He challenged His followers to love and care for the crowds, that even His own disciples would desert him and betray Him.

The Harvest is ready! Lord, forgive me for being so self absorbed and fearful that I have not gone into your fields of harvest. Crowds are waiting to hear the message of Hope and Love that only our Savior can bring. As our nation mourns the loss of many due to mass shootings, hurricanes and earthquakes may we be filled with compassion and hold out the word of life to the crowds.

Will you open your eyes this approaching Holiday season to see the crowds?

The Moments That Take Your Breath Away

May 16 2017

It had been a long and hard day as I pulled my car into the driveway up on Rocky Top. As I did, my breath was immediately taken away. I gasped. The beauty was stunning. The pink azalea bush had come into full bloom overnight. The sight of the beauty against the back drop of the lake was like salve to my weary soul.

I’ve had many moments that take my breath away:

Holding each of my children in my arms the first time
Watching my daughters walk down the aisle to their grooms
Hearing my adult son say words of wisdom
Watching a sunset while holding the hand of my husband of 37 years
Holding my grandchildren in my arms for the first time
Being a part of someone coming to know Christ

At moments like the above, it is as if time stands still and God’s love, joy and peace fills my heart.

Then there are those moments when your breath is knocked out of you. The room begins to spin and you feel as if you are in a dream and just can’t wake up. You know those moments:

The sudden death of a loved one
The doctor’s diagnosis of a serious illness
A spouse or parent breaking the commitment of forever
The decisions or actions of ungodly people
The loss of a job
The betrayal of a friend

Unfortunately, I have experienced several of the above moments. God has taught me and is still teaching me the following principals.

Remember the moments He has taken your breath away with His goodness, mercy and love. He is still that same God. Psalm 105:5 says: “Remember the wonders he has done, the miracles…”Our memory is a powerful tool. Use it wisely.
Declare Who He is: Sovereign, Good, Faithful, Loving and Kind. Circumstances may be difficult and people may deeply disappoint us. Yet our God is faithful! “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” Deuteronomy 7:9
Praise Him and Thank Him. When we praise Him and thank Him, the enemy flees. In II Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord praises. As they sang praises, the Lord confused the enemy and they were defeated.
Don’t Panic. Recently there has been a viral video of a paddle boarder with 15 sharks circling him posted on Facebook. The sheriff’s department announced to the paddle boarder to “exit the water in a calm manner.” When the enemy is circling us, staying calm and moving toward shore in a steady manner will ensure our survival. Panic causes us to make stupid decisions.
BREATHE: Your breath might have been knocked out but God is more than capable of breathing His life into you. In Ezekiel 37, God brought Ezekiel into The Valley of Dry Bones. God asked him, “Son of man, can these bones live?” Ezekiel said, “O Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then the Lord said, “Prophesy to these bone and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you and you will come to life.’ ” When the breath is knocked out of you, He can breathe His new life into you. He is capable of turning that nightmare into a miracle.

The Broken Thanksgiving

Nov 25 2016

Table set, turkey carved, homemade apple, pumpkin and pecan pie ready to be eaten. Table full of loved ones. Thanks offered to the One and Only Lord. Laughter and love for all. Then it happened……the beloved lady pilgrim salt shaker flew “randomly” out of my hand and crashed to the hardwood floor. Broken in several pieces with salt scattered everywhere….had that lady pilgrim salt shaker and its companion for over 10 years. Ruined and broken. It can be glued back together but not sure it will ever hold salt again. Maybe if the repair is done just right.

No one likes brokenness. Whether the broken happens in things or people, brokenness is just messy and uncomfortable. If we are going to be real and honest, the majority of us want to run from the broken. Just get something new. Move on to the next thing or the next person. Broken is not fun.

Brokenness involves hurt and pain. When there is love for anyone or anything, brokenness is a risk we take.

Witnessed a lot of brokenness lately: a beautiful 17 year old’s death due to a car accident; a 55 year old’s death due to ALS; several broken families due to a spouse deciding they had enough; broken bodies due to age; broken spirit’s due to hurtful words.

When one is broken what is on the inside comes out, according to my friend, Gary Witherall whose wife was martyred in Lebannon.

The salt came spilling out of the pilgrim lady salt shaker. Salt can heal. Salt adds flavor. Salt can sting.

Looked around that Thanksgiving table of loved ones, we had all experienced some type of brokenness in our lives: broken homes, broken hearts, broken bodies, and broken dreams. A lot of salt spilled at that table. Many times the salt has been used to heal; definitely a lot of flavor and sometimes just hurt and sting.

No coincidence, just finished reading Ann Voskamp’s new book, The Broken Way. If you are one that would just soon live a comfortable life, dreaming of a nostalgia that is non-existent in your home or church, then this book is not for you. If you long for Christ to redeem your brokenness, to love through and in your brokenness, then this will take you on a journey to embrace your brokenness and allow Christ to redeem it.

“Never be afraid of broken things—-because Christ can redeem anything. When I’m no longer afraid of brokenness, I don’t have to control or possess anything—dreams or plans or people or their perceptions. I can live surrendered. Cruciform. Given. This feels like freedom. Not being afraid of the brokenness—this sets you free in a thousand ways.” Ann Voskamp

But even more importantly, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, becoming like Him in His death.” Philippians 3:10

With much Thanksgiving in my heart, I’m going to glue that broken pilgrim lady salt shaker back together and set it out every Thanksgiving as a reminder to our entire family to embrace the broken things in our lives!

Category - Brokenness